02 August, 2022 TEXAS LESBIANS IVF JOURNEY + MATERNITY PHOTOS

Posted at 8:52pm in Dallas, Family, LGBT, LGBTQ Adoption, LGBTQ IVF, Queer Families by imsteph 0 Comments

HEY! Steph here. Guess who it is… Cassie & Kayla (AND Olsen) here to share some of their IVF journey in Texas as a lesbian couple.

You might remember them from their engagement photos, wedding photos in the Virgin Islands, first round of maternity photos when Kayla was pregnant with Olsen, or their family photos. Their pup Mia stole the show in each one! I am so thrilled to announce that yesterday they welcomed baby number 2 into their family, and I hope this is helpful for LGBTQ families looking for IVF stories.

Q: I’ve gotten to capture so many of the big milestones in your family timeline. What’s it like being able to look back and relive those memories in that way?

A: We absolutely love looking back and reliving those memories through photos, especially getting to see our family grow over time. We love you as a close friend and love that you prioritize capturing our special moments.

Q: Do you have any insight or guidance for partners looking into IVF? How do you think the trajectory of legislation in Texas might impact LGBTQIA+ families hoping to grow?

A: IVF was a long and daunting process, but having the right doctor really makes the world of difference. Be aware that the costs are high but the price is absolutely worth it for our family. My wife has now endured almost 1,000 needles in her a$$ and I am impressed with her commitment and her perseverance every day (I know I could never do it!). We’ve spoken with our doctor and so far, our embryos and family planning are not affected, but I can tell you it is scary in general to be a pregnant woman in Texas right now.

I wrote a post about all things IVF back in 2019 when we announced that we were pregnant with Olsen. That was from the first round of IVF- she actually miscarried again after the second try. Malone was actually Kayla’s fourth pregnancy.

“Malone was actually Kayla’s fourth pregnancy.”
— Cassie Brown

Here is that post and I hope anyone going through IVF or thinking about it find our experience helpful:

“Kayla is KNOCKED UP! I want to talk about the real for a second- just in case anyone out there is struggling to get pregnant and sees this.

We decided we wanted to try for kids 18 months ago. I thought “oh this will be easy”, just get some sperm and stick it up there! Tada, a baby! Welp, turns out for us (and so many others), it can be so much more difficult than that. After 4 unsuccessful intrauterine inseminations both off and on medications, we decided to go to IVF. My wife had to take needles in her ass for months, and we were so excited to see a positive pregnancy test after the first round! But 8 weeks later at the first ultrasound, we found no heartbeat. Kayla had to be put under to surgically remove the pregnancy.

She was devastated. And I didn’t know how to console her. Every Instagram pregnancy announcement was a blow to her heart. Every friend with a newborn was an identity crisis. It was the struggle of “what kind of woman am I, if I was born to procreate and cannot”? So many conversations around purpose and so, so many tears. Our strong marriage was rattled. It was a long 18 months.

After the first unsuccessful pregnancy, the doctor found that Kayla has a blood clotting disease. She now has to take a blood thinning shot in her stomach every day throughout her entire pregnancy, even after the baby is born. And after this positive pregnancy test 12 weeks ago, there were so many fears around losing him. She is still battling those fears, even today.

So if you are out there and trying to conceive, see this, and feel those heart sinking feelings.. know you’re not alone. Keep trying, find an amazing fertility doctor and don’t get discouraged. Your time will come, as ours did today.

Everyone always posts the good things and social media makes other people’s lives seem perfect. Life isn’t perfect, it’s a constant struggle… but it’s not WHAT you go through but HOW you go through it that matters. Keep your head up and know that you can make it through anything. We all are stronger than we think.”

Q: Are you having any concerns or fears about building your family in Texas?

A: Absolutely. I think it’s normal to be scared to be in a conservative state that has the potential to not recognize your marriage. If my business wasn’t entrenched in Texas, I think we would be on the next Uhaul to a more friendly state. What’s happening in America right now is terrifying, and to think my marriage and potentially my rights to my children are at risk is unfathomable.

Q: Even still, I’m sure there’s a lot of joy in adding another member to your family! What are you two looking forward to the most now with two kiddos?

A: Kayla would say she’s looking forward to bows and dresses and little girl clothes. Me? I am excited to really soak up the baby phase again. It just goes by so fast. I’m gonna hold that baby in my arms and never put her down. And to see our son Olsen be a big brother will be an awesome fun and terrifying experience.

Q: If you could tell another LGBTQIA+ family anything at this moment, what would it be?

A: We’ll get through these weird times, together. Don’t be afraid to keep living life. We’re still going, still cruising, still makin’ babies, still living, despite the crazy stuff that’s happening. We need to do what we can to support each other. And sometimes, we need to turn off the damn news and spend some quality time with each other instead. It’s not all doom and gloom!